Forgiveness Matters

Extending forgiveness to people that have hurt us has to be one of the most difficult things that we do.

The starting point is hard enough: admitting that someone actually hurt us. 
We tend to have a "it's no big deal" approach to things that hurt us.  We try to deal with conflict and pain by telling ourselves that "that shouldn't hurt".  The problem with this approach is that it typically doesn't work. 

Then once weve admitted that we are actually hurt the opposite extreme becomes a temptation.  We can lock on to the victim mentality and live there for a long time.  Our pain then becomes the reason why we can't move forward in life.  It becomes the reason that we got "stuck" in our growth. 

The only place of freedom is in admitting that we have been hurt and then moving to forgive the person who has hurt us.  This can be profoundly difficult especially if the offense is a deep one. 

The only way that this makes sense to me is when I am concious of how much God has forgiven me.  I have to remember that God has forgiven me for being a selfish, rebellious, judgmental, prideful and ungodly person.  I have offended a perfect and holy God.  Once I have this in mind, I am in a place where I can extend forgiveness to another imperfect person who is just like me. 

When we withhold forgiveness it slowly creates a bitterness that turns into anger.  This bitterness and anger begin to affect our hearts, they harden us and they shrink our ability to love.  Sarcasm and cynicism replace sincerity and joy.  We begin to morph into a version of ourselves that we can't stand. 

When we extend forgiveness our capacity to love and to care is enlarged.  Joy and sincerity begin to be restored.  We start moving toward the version of ourselves that we know we're made to be.

Forgiveness is good for us.

"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."

Ephesians 4:32

Ryan